"I Can't Change" & Relaxation
Our behavior, emotions, intellect, and just about everything else about us, other than biological considerations, are the result of a series of choices.
2. We as individuals can reinvent ourselves by realizing that "I don't have to be who I was yesterday. Furthermore, I do not have to do what I did yesterday." By replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk, and by using visualization to replace undesirable subconscious messages with desirable conscious messages, you will find yourself enjoying the many fruits of self-discipline.
3. While a positive attitude can create positive actions, the reverse is also true. Positive actions can create a positive attitude. They feed and support each other.
4. Good luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.
5. Power Tool: Relaxation
a) Armed with why, you can work out a quick deal with Hyde to relax the inner conflict that occurs when a part of you wants to do something that another part of you does not want to do.
b) Ask yourself the "Why" questions: "Why do I want to eat something instead of writing this report?" "Why do I want to watch mindless television right now?" "Why do I think that filling out this form will be so painful?" "Why am I responding this way?" And although the specific questions that you ask yourself will change according to the task you are facing, the nature of the questions will remain the same. You will need to ask yourself "Why" questions.
c) Whenever you find yourself beginning to avoid a task that needs to be done, the situation calls for relaxation. Regardless of the nature of the task, whether you are about to write a report or start a cleaning project, a systematic relaxation effort will move you toward self-discipline.
d) Whenever you feel Hyde pulling you away from the task you want to do, take two or three minutes to go through the following steps. The more you do it, the faster and easier it becomes.
i. Take a few deep breaths, slow your breathing, and say to yourself, "I am completely relaxed." It doesn't really matter whether you are standing, sitting, or lying down. Simply try to be as physically comfortable as the situation will allow.
ii. Then as you continue to slow your breathing say to your-self: "I am tightening my forehead, then relaxing it. I am tightening all my facial muscles, then relaxing them. I am tightening my jaw, then relaxing it. I am tightening my neck muscles, then relaxing them." Continue to go through your major muscle groups (shoulders, arms, hands, back, stomach, etc.) first tightening then relaxing them.
iii. Take a minute to really give your body a chance to feel relaxed. Control your breathing. Use your self-talk to support your physical relaxation. Use visualization to see yourself easily doing the task that is at hand.
iv. Quickly ask and answer a few "Why" questions. Listen to what Hyde is saying to you. Become aware of how Hyde is trying to trick you into avoiding the task. Then counteract Hyde's influence by telling yourself the other side of the story. Be convincing, be forceful, but be relaxed. Focus on a specific immediate reward for completing the task. Use visualization, self-talk, or any other tools that feel useful.
v. Begin to take a small action step toward the task. As you get closer to the room, table, tools, or wherever you need to be to start the task, continue to control your breathing and physical state. Remind your muscles to relax. Every time you feel or hear an avoidance message from Hyde, use your self-discipline tools and techniques to replace that message with a flood of self-discipline messages. Pour it on thick.
vi. Actually start the first step of your task. Once again, remind yourself to relax. Control your breathing. And, I repeat, every time you feel or hear an avoidance message from Hyde, use your self-discipline tools and techniques to replace that message with a flood of self-discipline messages.
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